Dream Bigger Then Ever Before

According to my calculations, I don't give two fucks.

• • Sep 29
  Making art again.

• • Jul 18
  So I’ve gotten into art again.

• • 1
  • Jul 11

  Sometimes

  Sometimes I want to ask people why the don’t like certain things about themselves, but then I always get the answer, “I just don’t.”, but then when they turn around and ask me the same thing, I have to reply with a full explanation. How’s that even fair? -shrug-. It’s been a couple days and I apologize that I haven’t written down my thoughts the past couple of days, but I’m sure you’ll get over it reader. :P

  I want to draw again, but I’m almost 99% sure that all my artistic ability with the pen/pencil is completely gone. I’ve been trying to get myself a copy of Photoshop CS3 lately to get back into making art…I need an outlet. I’ve been in a whirlwind of emotions and stress lately and it’s beginning to become overbearing.

  I can’t say I’m happier without her, not in the slightest, but I think she is without me, and I suppose that’s good enough. Whatever it takes to get a smile out of her will be okay in my books, unless is manslaughter or something else excessive of course.

  I’d give up everything in order to be able to play the piano.

  [untitled]

  My arm outstretched
  I’ll ask you to dance
  I was taking,
  Taking a chance

  You took my hand and
  I pulled you close
  I was taking,
  Taking a dose
  
  Of this simple thing called reality
  All I needed was this one dance
  To bring joy to this soul inside of me
  Just for this hopeless romance

  ——————————
  I’ll finish this later…probably.

• • 1
  • Jul 5

  Me

  

  I was talking to a very close friend of mine, who I actually follow on this tumblr shenanigans, about how I’ve changed. I changed after my April break up with my last girlfriend. Everything changed. The things that make me laugh, my laugh, my smile, my style for clothing, my favorite music, what makes me cry, my friends, my relationship with my parents, my whole life.

  But I don’t think this me is a changed old me, I think this me is a new me. The one that’s the teddy bear nice guy who still opens doors for women, men, and children all the same, who still pulls out chairs for women, who will always pay for things no matter what when with a woman or friends. This me is the nice guy who doesn’t mind if he finishes last because at least he’ll finish the race and hopefully find someone that can accept who he is for what he is.

  Happy Fourth of July.

• • Jul 5

  :D

  My dear I wrote you a simple song
  With just three common words
  To show you the best part of me
  To cover up the worst

  I hope that this song isn’t weird
  But this message I must convey
  I don’t use these three words a lot
  But this time I will say

  I love you.
  I love you.

  Remember that time we first met
  You were wearing that silly dress
  I still said you were beautiful
  But you really looked a mess
  
  I hope that you still think of me
  As your partner friend in crime
  I’d get us both in trouble though
  Still just to call you mine
  
  I love you.
  I love you.

  Sometimes when you called at night
  It gave me butterflies
  I didn’t know how to act at all
  So I’d hide and close my eyes
  
  I hope that you take this to heart
  ‘Cause I don’t want to hurt.
  I really really like you
  But I don’t know how to flirt.
  
  I love you.
  I love you.

  Every time that we meet up
  It’s always tons of fun
  Tickling you to death sometimes
  You pouted when I was done
  
  I hope you say those three words back
  So I don’t end up alone
  We’ll sing happily forever after
  And share a great big home.
  
  I love you.
  I love you.

• • 34
  • Jul 4
  • Source

  Dear Future Girlfriend: Dear Future Girlfriend

  notestomyfuturegirlfriend:

  I’m really — and I mean really — broken right now. I’m going to need you to be my strength, and to help build me back up. I’m going to need you to hold me while I cry, and I’m especially going to need you to be okay with the fact that it might take me awhile to get over my ex.

  But most…

• • Jul 4

  Dream Big

  Or go home…well, that’s my version of “Go big or go home.”

  I suppose as my first legitimate post on here, I’ll pour out some stuff that’s on my mind right now:

  First thing is first, I can’t believe that it’s just about permanently over with the girl that I’ve been in love with for more than two years, and when I see permanently, I mean that we’ve broken up but it’s soon to be a for sure thing that there will never be another “us” again. These past two years have quite possibly been the most trying, enjoyable, unfortunate, loving, happy, sad years of my life and I’m sure they’ll go uncontested for a very long time. I can’t help but wonder to myself why I thought doing what I thought was best for her was actually going to be. It probably is the biggest mistake I’ll ever make in my life, and I regret it to this day and forever will. Some say, “It is better to have loved and lost, than to have not loved at all.” and I whole-heartedly agree. You’ll never know what that quote truly means until you’ve fallen in love, and then have lost the one you love either through a break-up, death, or anything else. Maybe some day in the future she’ll remember me, find me through the internet or on Facebook(if I still have it activated) or find my number scribbled down somewhere and contact me, and we can fall in love all over again…or am I thinking of a fairy tale or sappy romance movie? I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

  Maybe I’m just afraid to fall in love again at this point to. I feel like one of those pushoverteddybearkindaguys who always finish last and will be stuck on the one that got away for a while. Maybe I’m just afraid that no one will love me, or maybe I’m just afraid that I can’t find someone else. Oh well…we’ll find out soon enough.

  Oh, dear reader, I’ve also been talking to someone I’ve known about, but never really talked to them until now, since 6th or 7th grade. Dev-dev is a baws. She’s been actually helping me the past through the past rough couple of days. We’ve shared music, stories, and Scrabble. Girls were meant to win at Scrabble, it’s just not fair. I think because of the wide vocabulary they use to yell at their boyfriends, that they’re accustomed to pulling words out of their ass…

  I’m ready for college.

  Also, reader, I haven’t written one of these “poem” things in a while, so I’m gonna wing it here…

  [untitled - one of you name it for me]

  Forgive me please miss
  But I didn’t catch your name
  Maybe you could tell me
  So I can ask you this
  
  “Would you like to, ya know…
  Meet up some time soon?”
  And don’t forget your number
  Dinner, movie, or a show?

  Then we can go back
  To my place and relax
  Sit back and cuddle
  Over a late-night snack
  
  I’m what you’d call a ‘teddybear’
  I hope you like nice guys
  Because every night I’ll tell you
  How much I truly care
  
  So please, if you just could
  Write down your name
  And give me a call soon
  I show you the love that you should

  Have.

• • Jul 4